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Joke of the Day

"I'll betcha that Heimlich guy gets a lot of pats on the back."

"Current life status - By the time I figure out what nostril is plugged, it jumps to the other side."

"Where can you find the best Black Friday deals with items at 100% off? Ferguson!"

"What's the difference between feminists and hockey players? Hockey players shower after 3 periods."

"You know what I love about world history? ... It's a long story"

"My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex But my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia."

"I hate how everybody is acting like they love this new pope so much and they're such big fans but probably can't even name 3 of his songs."

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? If we don't get support soon, people will think we are nuts."

"Max wondered why the ball was slowly growing larger... and then it hit him."

"Dad joke I just had with my girlfriend GF: *sigh GF: *sigh GF: *sigh Me: That's like 3 sighs in 30 seconds. GF: And they all probably meant different things. Me: I guess I need to know sigh language."