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Joke of the Day

"Max wondered why the ball was slowly growing larger... and then it hit him."

"Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he was stuck to the chicken..."

"I was walking downtown and saw a sign with a pig and a dog. It said ""why love one and eat the other?"" I thought to myself ""they have a point. I should start eating dogs."""

"I met a girl at a club last night and she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran 100m in 9.69 seconds."

"Giving somebody a greeting card is the most festive way to deposit $5 into their trashcan."

"How many Vietnam Vets does it take to change a light bulb? What, you don't know? Well I guess you weren't FUCKING THERE, MAN!"

"Decades of video games have left me unjustifiably overconfident in my ability to break open a wooden crate."

"Two guys walk into a bar.... You would think the first guy would've warned the other."

"I hope that guy that ""wants to be a billionaire"" makes $999,999,999.00 and then gets hit by a bus"

"Why did the prostitute cry after her customer left? He gave her the biggest tip she ever had"