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Joke of the Day

"I used to not get on with my mother-in-law but over the last few months I've developed quite an attachment for her. It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her mouth shut!"

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"Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? Because he wanted a head of hare (hair)."
"Did you hear about the neckbeards that raped the killer clown? They did it, Reddit."
"[back from the ultrasound] MOTHER-IN-LAW: So did you see the fetus? ME: Fetus, handus, legus...there was practically a whole baby in there!"
"My driving teacher asked me where the gas is: ""Second door on the right."""
"What did one Viking war paint say to the other? Poly, you're a Thane."
"According to the 2nd law of thermodynamics, when parents relax, children must increase the amount of disorder in the universe to compensate."
"A Dumb blonde is pulled over by a cop... He says: You were going 95km/h. The dumb blonde responds: but I haven't been driving for an hour."
"I just got my prostate examined. That's the last time I fall asleep on the train."
"The NBA is like a box of crayons... they don't use the white ones."