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Joke of the Day

"If one is an expert at tying knots, one does knot simply."

"Where do you take a sick ship? To the doc(k)!"

"Lance Armstrong should be applauded for being able to ride a bike so well on drugs. I tried it once. Hit a dog and fell into the canal."

"A man runs home after winning the lottery ""Honey honey! We won the lottery! Pack your bags!"" ""Oh my god that's amazing! Where are we going?!"" ""I don't care, just get out!"""

"""Lincoln"" is a terrible movie The main character dies at the end."

"What do you call a midget psychic on the run from the Feds? A small medium at large."

"Q: What do you say to an alien with two heads? A: Hello. Hello."

"Yo mamma so dumb..... That she climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side."

"What did the broken bridge say? I have truss issues."

"What do you call an extraterrestrial cetacean? A Whalien."