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Joke of the Day

"Moby-Dick is cool if you like stopping in the middle of a story about murdering a smart whale to think about all the different kinds of rope"

"Today I forgot to comb my hair, but people thought I was nice. Then, nothing of consequence happened. So today was every Michael Cera movie."

"How can you tell which nurse is the head nurse? She's the one with dirty knees."

"Tiger Woods: He puts the semen in product endorsements. And women. I mean he used to. Crap, can I start over? I've almost got this."

"What economic theory opposes manscaping? Laissez-fur!"

"Donald Trump is raping the republican party unlike the female body, the GOP has no power to shut it down."

"Why do Mexicans love six flags ... Because they can get a abortion and go on rides"

"Standing behind a lady at Home Depot. Heard her ask for suggestions for tools to buy her grandson who was studying to be a quantum mechanic."

"Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies? Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter there's a Gorilla in my soup!'"

"How many Women Priest are there? Nun."