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Joke of the Day

"Getting old sucks. I walked into the bathroom and forgot what I went in there for. And then I shit my pants."

"Why do people never eat clocks? Because it's really time consuming."

"A magician is driving down a road... ...and turns into a supermarket."

"New slogan for cats: ""Ever go to the zoo and want to snuggle a tiger but don't want to die? Cats."""

"Before sliced bread there was no greatest thing."

"Just waiting to hear those three special words... ""there's no evidence."""

"I would never feed you to the wolves. You're too toxic and I like dogs."

"Have you heard about the digging poem? It's quite deep."

"What do books and sex have in common? They both have a climax."

"What do you call it when the new US president waves his hand? A microwave."