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Joke of the Day
"I would never feed you to the wolves. You're too toxic and I like dogs."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her. Also the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend."
"Why does the Leaning Tower of Pisa lean? It is italicized."
"Good thing Brazil won...otherwise I'm pretty sure they would've just cancelled the rest of the World Cup."
"What insect can be spelled with just one letter? Bee."
"What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador!"
"""Excuse me, do you validate parking?"" I sure do, champ. *kisses your forehead* Your parking is second to none."
"If gay marriage is wrong, then why did we have four fathers?"
"Went to my uncle's funeral today open bar pretty good food but my uncle was dead 3/5 stars"
"What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits till you're 12 to come on your face."