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Joke of the Day

"In the 1945-6 Nuremberg Trials what should have been the opening statement from the defence counsel representing the Nazi War criminals? 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.'"

"I could have sworn I saw spearmint flavored fig newtons at the shop the other day. But it turns out they were just a fig-mint of my imagination."

"It's been 5 years now. I'm afraid that I actually might not be bloated."

"R Kelly taking the art out of rap artist."

"What did the man do after listening to a Pink Floyd album for two hours? Skip to the next track"

"Why didn't the blind person laugh at my joke? Because he didn't see the funny side to it."

"hear about the gay indian? he's a brave sucker...."

"the chinese food place by my work is dangerously close to being added to my 'never again' list after finding a human tooth in my food"

"Thank God for that one person who gets on the elevator and takes charge."

"What does Acetone and Hitler have in common? They're both Polish removers!"