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Joke of the Day

"In the 1945-6 Nuremberg Trials what should have been the opening statement from the defence counsel representing the Nazi War criminals? 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.'"

"What would you call Osama bin Laden if he became a pirate? Sandy Hook."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"Had to Return the Sensitive Toothpaste I bought yesterday... It couldnt take a joke!"

"The Queen is what she drinks... Royalty [ I hope this isn't a repost. I thought of it on my own]"

"I finally figured out why Donald Trump married Melania... ...she came from ***YUUUUUUUUUUUUG***oslavia. ~~(thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week)~~"

"I Ordered Pizza From OP Pizza... Turns out they don't deliver."

"I walked in on my roommate masturbating in the shower I said ""Mate, that's disgusting"" Him: ""Fuck off I can wash it as fast as I like!"""

"This is my favorite least offensive offensive joke Which football player gets the most wedgies? The tight ends."

"I wanted to share this great joke I heard about a farmer fixing his fence... ...but it's a re-post."