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Joke of the Day

"Guy finds secret trick into heaven... Gods hate him"

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"2 people got in an argument on the other side of the makeshift boat i'm on. So I yelled, what's with all the Rift-Raft over there!?"
"What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese."
"What do you call a pirate from Ireland?? Arrrish"
"There's this woman in my office who is wearing the same outfit as yesterday and she reeks of tequi......ok it's me."
"I bet Spider-Man's roommates always blame him for all the cobwebs in the apartment."
"How many good deeds do you need to be called a superhero? Because If it's one or less, I'm totally there."
"How did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan Kenobi was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents..."
"WIFE: this year, can you put the santa presents out for the kids christmas morning? GUY WHO NEVER FOUND OUT SANTA CLAUS ISN'T REAL: what"
"What did one firefly say to the other ? Got to glow now !"