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Joke of the Day

"JOB REQUIREMENTS: Must have a college degree. Must have 5 years experience. Must have volunteered as tribute and won the 74th Hunger Games."

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"Why can't watermelons get married? Because they cantaloupe!"
"What is the square root of 69? -*ate* somethin'."
"My Doctor Wrote Me a Prescription... My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia."
"Have you heard about that new girl, Pandora? She's got one hell of a box."
"Pretty much just pronouncing ""Caramel"" however the person I'm talking to is pronouncing it."
"Have you ever seen moth balls? You have? Then how the hell did you get their legs apart?"
"I'm stuck in Christmas mass right now and I need some nsfw religious jokes about Christianity in order to make my dad crack. Have any? Help me, I got dragged to this as vice and now we need jokes."
"This lady on the train has that raspy, cigarette, alcohol, at death's door kinda voice. I'ma see if she'll record my voice mail message."
"You find it offensive. I find it funny, that's why I'm happier than you."
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