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Joke of the Day

"*dumps more fleas on my head* *sits back down in front of chimpanzee* So, anyway, like I was saying..."

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"Why did the German watchmaker say to the watch that kept saying ""Tick, tick, tick, tick,...""? ""Ve haff vays of meking you tock."""
"What did the testicle say to the other testicle? ""Between you and me, I think something's up."" I'm slightly tipsy, this is probably a terrible joke. Merry Christmas!"
"The Runaway Horse by Gay Topen"
"What did you have for breakfast? Pea Soup Q: What did you have for lunch? A: Pea Soup Q: What did you have for dinner? A: Pea Soup Q: What did you do all night? A: Pee soup..."
"Have you watched the documentary about sponges? It's absorbing."
"TEACHER: Its report card day Timmy TIMMY: I'm scared to look. TEACHER: Don't worry. It's all B's lol *opens it & gets engulfed by bees*"
"""Oh wow, way better!"" -Jedi Knight trying out a gun"
"I want my tombstone to read ""Free WiFi"" so people would visit more often"
"What kind of cake does a baseball player prefer? A bundt cake!"