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Joke of the Day

"Going to get a facial today... this guy on Craigslist is offering a way lower price than the salon!"

"What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck."

"A reddit admin awoke to the sound of a beeping alarm clock but pressed the snoo's button and went back to sleep"

"All the guys in working out photos look like they're straining or in pain, but there's lots of pictures of me with cake and I look happy."

"I named my penis Richard That's long for Dick Hey - at least it's not another Turkey joke."

"How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. But it takes 20 episodes"

"I went to my first Fight Club meeting last night Unfortunately I arrived 10 minutes late so I missed the introductions but I must say I had a fantastic time I'd recommend it to everyone."

"If God is your co-pilot - swap seats."

"Where can you find tetraplegics? Where you left them."

"What's the most American food? Popcorn, because you have to blow it up before you eat it."