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Joke of the Day

"All the guys in working out photos look like they're straining or in pain, but there's lots of pictures of me with cake and I look happy."

"What do you call an elephant that doesn't keep up to date? irrelephant"

"What do you call a group of lions that is homosexual? Gay pride."

"If you've ever wondered how many days you can reuse the same lemon wedge in your water pitcher in the refrigerator, the answer is not 11."

"Dear guy who parked his Lexus across two parking spaces: Your car got paint on my keys."

"If pigs could vote they'd always vote for the guy who brings the food, even though he's the same one who will slaughter and eat them later."

"Woke up with no money. I was robbed last night by a guy who looks exactly like me, but drunker."

"What's Funnier then an Obama Joke? DEZ NUTZ!!!"

"What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything"

"My girlfriend reminds me of Chernobyl... There's nuclear fallout when she over-reacts!"