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Joke of the Day

"What did the gay guy say to his lover when they were going on vacation? ""Hey, can you help me pack my shit?"""

"My girlfriend wanted to use a protractor during sex... but I told her graphing paper is where I draw the line."

"My ex got me arrested cause I used to sit outside her house all day. She thought I was stalking her but i wasn't, i just had her WiFi code."

"How do you catch an elephant? Dig a hole, line it with peas and fill it with ashes. That way when the elephant comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole."

"If time is money are ATM's time machines?"

"She wants to know what I accomplished on my day off, but when I show her she yells at me for not flushing. Marriage is hard."

"Im opening a ice cream parlor in Israel... Its called ""The Creamatorium"""

"how many Irishman does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2, one to hold the light bulb the other to drink until the room spins"

"What is a Germans favorite letter? Any letter before the last. Because they're not 'z's"

"What's a flamboyantly gay horse's favorite food?! Likely a mixture of things like grains, seeds, and beet pulp."