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Joke of the Day

"If time is money are ATM's time machines?"

"A recent study shows 50% of people think that people who can't spell are idiots .. The other 50% said ""that's ridiclious!"""

"Q. What do you call a cow with no legs? A. Ground beef."

"Girl are you a mathematician? 'Cause you turn my quadratic parabola into a linear straight line."

"*drops pizza slice on the floor Hey can I get another slice? *eats slice that fell on the floor then eats new slice"

"What did the redditor do at the restaurant when he was done with his meal? \*Tips waitress*"

"Found out one of my best friend is a prostitute... Now I see her in a completely different light"

"My Twitter account would benefit from a breathalyzer-activated password."

"Instead of being frustrated that you only have a 140 character limit just be thankful that I do."