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Joke of the Day

"Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside.."

"What did the lesbian pirate say to her peg legged girlfriend? Scissor me timbers"

"So the other day at the ATM an elderly lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her o_O"

"What do you call a good looking Lebanese man? Azif"

"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None because it's already lit fam ^I'm^^so^^^sorry"

"The prize for coming in the top-3 of the children's race was an evil clown. Sadly I came 4th. I would have got away with It if it wasn't for those medalling kids."

"How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her..."

"iPhone 5s fitted with fingerprint recognition. I'll sleep easier knowing that if my phone gets stolen, they'll likely chop off my hand too."

"So Recep Tayyip Erdogan says to Michelle Bachelet, ""Do you want to get together and make some dinner?"" For you dense fuckers, this joke is playing on Turkey and Chile's presidents."

"There were over 14,000 wars before McDonalds launched the Dollar Menu. Since launching it, there's only been 32. Those are just the facts."