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Joke of the Day

"[interview] So what's a personal strength? ""Honesty."" And a failing? ""I murder people who don't hire me."""

"My friends were disappointed that I decided to stay home after work instead of going out with them... I said, ""Yea, I'm really into resting, aren't I ? """

"What do you call an alligator trying to start trouble? An instagator!"

"Feeling tired as you struggle to get through the day? There's a nap for that."

"I'm sorry I don't speak any English -me when someone starts talking to me"

"I may be delusional, but at least every single person I've ever met is in love with me"

"I spent an hour explaining how WiFi works to my wife and my dog. The dog gets it."

"What do you call a group of cars ? A clutch !"

"I tried dating a stenographer but she wasn't my type"