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Joke of the Day

"""I want her skin."" -Serial killers and teenage girls"

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"The hardest part of being a congressman must be pretending to actually like the people where you're from."
"Nothing says you don't trust your family like pre-payment of your funeral"
"What do exchange students and porn addicts have in common? They both study abroad."
"My wife asked me to grow a beard I didn't like it at first but it's really growing on me"
"Which is better an old ten dollar bill or a new one? An old ten dollar bill is better than a new one."
"What do you call a pothead with two spliffs? Double jointed"
"My coffee tastes like the dishwasher. Makes me wonder how Carl's doing and if he still has that same distinct flavor."
"What do you call 6.02*10^23 butts? Molasses"
"Why do Seagulls Fly over the Sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be Bagels"