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Joke of the Day

"Nothing says you don't trust your family like pre-payment of your funeral"

"Idea: ""Celebrity Price Is Right"" where Gwyneth Paltrow guesses that loaves of bread cost $460"

"I tried to teach my illiterate nymphomanic girlfriend the alphabet. But she only wanted the D. I'm testing this joke here before i try it on my critics of mates."

"ME: In 1923 W. C. Fields said ""It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to."" BARISTA: I just need to write something on the cup."

"Gluten-free, low salt, no sugar all-natural whole grain bread? The only thing ""natural"" about this product is the urge to get away from it."

"want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car"

"US has serious problem with illegal immigrants. If you don't believe me ask any Native American."

"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far out, maan!"

"Doctor Doctor with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep. Try lying on the edge of your bed...you'll soon drop off!"

"Naming yo dick 'Pain' for emo chicks cuz they are suckers for pain..."