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Joke of the Day

"Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Bonus: Knock knock. Who's there? Not the little girl... EDIT: Pardon the crappy delivery, english isn't my fist language. ;)"

"Want to hear a joke about vaginas? Actually nevermind, you'll probably never get it"

"You guys! I'm so excited, I just hooked up with my crush from middle school. ...but now she keeps calling me expecting me to show up at her graduation."

"I lost twenty pounds by making sure that three times a week I get a good hour of doing crystal meth"

"What's the difference between a blond and a washing machine? When you drop a load into a washing machine it doesn't follow you around for a week."

"Covering the newest trump scandle in class Teacher: there are some things that guys compare in the locker room Me: like hand size"

"What is Jared's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period."

"if i could choose one super power right now it would be the ability to delete my number from other people's phones."

"""son, did i ever tell you about how I served in Nom?"" ""dad, don't you mean Nam?"" ""sorry son i ate a small cake at the end of that sentence"""

"My local bar was having a fund raiser for dyslexia It was all you can drink for ages 12 and up"