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Joke of the Day

"I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime."

"Wife: It's not a chick flick! Me: was the movie released in February? W: yes. M: are they standing back to back on the cover? W: sigh.. yes"

"CLICKBAIT TITLE (*bad pun goes here*) (*necessary edit acknowledging upvotes and more bad puns in comments*) (*necessary second edit for the anon's gold*)"

"My girlfriend told me that my dick is two inches bigger than her ex's. And that is why she will never go back into a lesbian relationship."

"What does Vin Diesel call ""pin the tail on the donkey""? Fasten the furry ass."

"If Arnold does star in the new Predator movie.. He would probably be sent back in time with his Expendables team to kill the Predator who was the actual John Connor."

"You heard about /r/politics? Or as I like to call it, ""Baby's first election."""

"People say... People say I'm not a fun loving person. Well some nights I am, some I'm not. That's all folks! I'll be sitting on the bleachers if any one needs me!"

"Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside."

"I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me... She calls me her sixty second lover...."