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Joke of the Day

"People say... People say I'm not a fun loving person. Well some nights I am, some I'm not. That's all folks! I'll be sitting on the bleachers if any one needs me!"

"What do you call 88 rednecks in an orgy? A family reunion."

"I now have an EpiPen My friend gave it to me when he was dying. It seemed really important that I have it, I will cherish forever."

"When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like I love you for what you have inside. (Me to my fridge)"

"Why are lawyers and their clients not allowed to engage in sexual relations? So the client doesn't get billed twice for getting fucked twice!"

"What is it like to be a woman in comedy? I would say it's 1% jokes & 99% answering this question."

"I see your thesaurus joke and raise you mine. Did you here about the truck full of thesauruses that crashed? Onlookers were shocked, astounded, agape, flabbergasted, and taken aback."

"Alien 1: What are the Humans doing? Alien 2: Celebrating the existence of their mothers. Alien 1: I ate my mother. Alien 2: As did I."

"do bird watchers not know about tv"

"What is a dental hygienist's favorite subject? Flossophy."