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Joke of the Day
"The U.S. presidency is like my ex. Anyone can get in."
Next Joke
"Sorry I flinched when you told me you loved me. I've been practicing my poker face. Can we try again?"
"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One WALKS on the MOON, and the other fucks little children."
"How do you break concrete in Doctor Who? With a Captain Jackhammer."
"Don't bother using those white packets of seasoning inside new shoes, they taste terrible."
"""This custard-filled donut will be bought... by a murderer!"" -The Eclairvoyant"
"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? because his wife died."
"Whats worse than ants in your pants? Your uncle."
"Thats the thing about incontinence pants.. .. you're in control."
"I sat on Santa's lap.. I asked for a bigger dick. He called his black brother-in-law."