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Joke of the Day

"My cross-eyed friend was just diagnosed with depression. I'm not surprised - he never looks forward to anything."

"I'm going to combine a sex shop and a restaurant... The motto is going to be ""First come first serve""."

"Rules to learning English: their our know rules"

"[used car] ME: my credit's bad SALESMAN: k ME: i'm a criminal SALESMAN: no law against that ME: i'm on the run SALESMAN: then you need a car"

"What does a baby look like in a microwave? I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate."

"Her: How do you get girls? Me: I'm smart and funny. Her: That works? Me: No I'm terribly alone, I was just saying."

"Did you know that Ang Lee made Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon five years before he made Brokeback Mountain? Yeah, working title for the latter film was Crouching Cowboy, Hidden Sausage."

"Tear gas is the saddest gas."

"Am I the only one who gets nervous when a person @'s you with a link? Like they found that pic of you at 18 being spanked in a tutu."

"Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf"