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Joke of the Day

"My English teacher corrected my Grammer. One day during the lecture our English teacher told us things are not ""hard"", infact they are ""difficult"". She gave me the most difficult boner that day."

"OMG, GODZILLA IS COMING TO ATTACK NEW ENGLAND AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE-oh, he said huge blizzard, not lizard... Carry on then."

"Flavor Flav turns 51 today. He'll spend a quiet day at home, still resting up after a weekend of moving clocks forward."

"Why is Donald Trump gay? The Chinese beemhole been trippin hardcore nomsayin'?"

"Shazam but for telling you the name of someone who's only just been introduced to you 5 minutes ago but you weren't listening."

"You made an imprint on my heart like a big butt on a memory foam mattress."

"Made this up a few years ago listening to NPR What do you call music about climate change? An Al Gore-rhythm"

"Remember, Kids... If you can't say anything nice, well, it's probably hilarious and worth getting into trouble over anyway."

"Crime TV shows aren't what they used to be That's why I support Donald Trump's promise to bring back Law and Order."

"A verb tried to pick up a noun at the club... He wanted to conjugate, but she had to decline. Probably all for the best. She was right up against her period."