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Joke of the Day

"A man and a boy are walking through the dark woods together Boy: Wow this is really scary Man: How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!!!"

"What's the name of the Hogwarts Professor that has an STI? Syphilis Snape"

"*burst into doctor's office* ME: I'm no longer canstopetid DOCTOR: You mean constipated ME: No I've had a vowel movement DOCTOR: Get out"

"I walked into a bar and some chick tried to pick me up I said ""Put me down, you are going to hurt yourself."""

"How do you make a dead baby float? Nail a piece of styrofoam to its head."

"I lost 40 Pounds in 4 months!! I didn't realize the British stock market was so volatile."

"The ""Parmesan"" cheese in the USA is an abomination of the original. Start buying parmigiano reggiano and make America grate again."

"What do you get when you run over a goose? Goose bumps."

"Why is it a long and expensive process for fruit to get married They just cantelope"

"How does every racist joke start? By looking over you shoulders."