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Joke of the Day

"Why did the butcher sell his shop? Because he couldn't meat his expenses"

"u ever see those babies who r born with whole heads of hair and think ""ur going places. ur a baby who gets stuff done"""

"Fat chicks don't get wet..... They get greasy"

"Why did the noodle hide from the other noodles? Because he was Alfredo pasta!"

"I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me; mistakenly as it were because I have the nerves of a guinea pig and puke when I cry."

"8 yr old: mommy, why are you laying on the floor? Me: I just did 438 sit ups. 8: sounds legit. I've taught her well."

"Puts fitbit on dogs collar. Throws the ball around. Sits on the couch and eat chips. Wins all the challenges"

"What's the difference between batman and a black man? Batman can go into a store without robin."

"The Shawshank Redemption but it's just me tunneling from my office to the break room so I don't have to talk to my boss."

"What is the difference between the deflate gate controversy and my wife? Only one shows an interest in the balls."