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Joke of the Day

"""Find something you love to do and you'll never work another day in your life."" Because you'll be home masturbating all the damned time."

"Microsoft should try making an optimistic and articulate robot that adjusts its responses based on interactions with the public. They could call it Marco Rubio."

"The Energizer bunny as been arrested! He was charged with battery. EDIT: ""H"" key on my damn keyborad."

"I once had a girlfriend who had a lazy eye... I had to dump her because she was seeing other people."

"Can everyone start saying salad is really bad for me so I can start craving it?"

"I've compiled a list of famous athletes who have spent time in prison. It's a pros and cons list."

"What's a baby seals' least favourite drink? Canadian Club on the Rocks"

"Christmas lights remind me of my friends. They all hang together, half of them don't work, and the ones that do aren't that bright."

"So my son asked me where his sunglasses are. I said ""I don't know, where are my dadglasses?"""

"Really sucks for those addicted to Apple products... ...now there is no *escape*"