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Joke of the Day

"Cats always land on their feet & bread always lands butter down, but spread butter on the cat's back & everyone wonders why you're naked."

"Prove that lightning isn't wizards fighting. You can't."

"Imagine a bunch of Italian mobsters tiptoeing and trying not to giggle as they gingerly place a horse head in bed with a sleeping guy."

"You're the shampoo in the eyes of my life."

"Probably the Grossest Joke I Know How do Vampires Make Tea? Used Tampons"

"I was having an argument with my deaf wife. All women are the same, they don't listen."

"Why don't anteaters get sick ? Because they are full of antibodies!"

"What do you call a cow which can no longer produce milk? An udder failure."

"Did you guys hear who killed Alicia Keys? No oooneee, noooo oneee, nooooooo oooooonnneeee http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rywUS-ohqeE"

"I complimented someone for their amazing mustache. I don't understand why she threw a fit though."