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Joke of the Day

"""One man's trash is another man's treasure,"" is an awesome phrase But it's a horrible way to tell your kid they're adopted."

"They say when you shave it grows back thicker. Can't wait to see my new cock."

"What does an Indian boy say to his mum when he goes out? Mumbai"

"HEROIC ACT - I stick my head under dressing room doors to tell people they look nice in whatever they are trying on."

"With Turkey shooting down that Russian plane.. I guess Putin will be cooking Turkey for thanksgiving.."

"Excuse me, waiter. Is my order almost ready to Instagram?"

"Avoid unwanted pregnancies by using the ""pull out"" method where you pull out an acoustic guitar at a party & no one will have sex with you."

"Do you know the difference between a man and a Government Bond? A man matures with time."

"How do you know when your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit.."

"A rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on one shoulder ... The bartender says, ""Hey, where'd you get that?"" And the frog says, ""Brooklyn, der's hundreds of um."""