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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to the library Man : do you have the new book on small penises? Women : sorry, I don't think it's in yet. Man : yeah, that's the one!"

"What do you call a snake that informs the police ? A grass snake !"

"Our top story tonight... Generalisimo Francisco Franco is still dead..."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger has been talking about Carly Fiorina for years: ""Carly Fiorina needs water,"" ""Carly Fiorina is a great state,"" blah blah blah."

"To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty."

"What do you get when you cross a nymphomaniac with a kleptomaniac? A fucking thief!"

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You osculate its tit a lot!"

"Him: You're a DJ? I'm not one for dancing. I've got this leg, you see? I've had it since the war. Me: How long have you had the other one?"

"My biggest problem with passive smoking is having to follow the smoker around."

"Why was the beaver mad because no one came to his damn party."