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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to the library Man : do you have the new book on small penises? Women : sorry, I don't think it's in yet. Man : yeah, that's the one!"

"You say tomato soup. I say ketchup soup. Cause the three year old won't eat tomato soup."

"Before Instagram people had to display their photos in fish tanks full of piss."

"Why did the pimp cross the lawn? To get to the hoes."

"I say I want a gf but I don't even know what I'd do with one. Do you just kiss her and leave her alone in a corner? How often does it eat?"

"Who Is every lumberjack's favourite director? TIMBURRRTON!"

"Interviewer: Where do you want to be in 5 years? Me: Oh, it doesn't matter. You will have fired me well before then."

"What's the difference between A circus and a brothel? One has a cunning array of stunts.."

"When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails."

"I had sex for an hour and 45 seconds last night. Thanks daylight savings!"