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Joke of the Day

"Arnold Schwarzenegger has been talking about Carly Fiorina for years: ""Carly Fiorina needs water,"" ""Carly Fiorina is a great state,"" blah blah blah."

"What idiot called it ""salad"" and not ""la sad"""

"yo mama so fat when she get on da elevator it says next stop hell"

"What do you get if you cross a tall green monster with a fountain pen? The Ink-credible Hulk."

"My dad told me never to explain fashion to Tommy, Hilfiger."

"My dog doesn't always bark like there's an intruder in the house, but when he does he waits until I'm home alone and in the shower."

"What's the capital of Wisconsin? W"

"By the nervous look on his face I thought my boyfriend had an engagement ring hidden in his hand but it was just a stranger's bra. Whew."

"An Irishman meets a.... Latvian. No potato. Both die. Is end."

"""The Force Awakens"" had 0 people riding giant CGI lizards. How is that even science fiction? They might as well rename it ""Downton Abbey."""