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Joke of the Day

"Arnold Schwarzenegger has been talking about Carly Fiorina for years: ""Carly Fiorina needs water,"" ""Carly Fiorina is a great state,"" blah blah blah."

"""Penguins mate for life. Isn't that romantic?"" You open your mouth to answer but I spit my chewed up cake into it. ""You're my penguin."""

"Knock Knock Who said you could come in?"

"What do you give to an owl who is not being himself? A Bowl (B-Owl)"

"Occam's Disposable Razor When given multiple equally valid choices, choose the one that costs the least money."

"Did you see the results of the swimming competition at Lake Gennesaret? Jesus won in a walkover."

"Why did the bait-shop owner take an apprentice ? He wanted to be a master-baiter."

"What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees? All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite..."

"What's the best song for a threesome You've got a friend in me."

"What do you do with an epileptic in a bathtub? Laundry."