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Joke of the Day
"In hell all the ball pits are filled with legos."
Next Joke
"Relationship status: Sitting in Home Depot parking lot, car hood open, and asking men if they can jump me."
"What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and sits in a pile of leaves? Russell."
"I'm gonna be upset when HBO starts killing off Sesame Street characters one by one Game Of Thrones style."
"Wise man once say... He who runs in front of car will get tired, He who runs behind car will get exhausted."
"A deaf guy walks into a bar... A deaf guy walks into a bar. Bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind here."" Deaf guy says, ""I'll have a beer."""
"Obama: any good ideas in how to defeat isis? *Biden raises hand* Obama: besides assembling the Avengers? *Biden lowers hand*"
"Me: congrats! Are you pregnant? Her: (awkwardly) Noooo... Me: *panics* do you wanna be? -great save- thanks brain"
"I'm just grateful that I don't have to draw on my eyebrows everyday because I would totally forget to do that."
"""Doctor, how bad is it?"" ""I mean, you're just not a great singer. I don't know why you needed a doctor to confirm for you, but there it is."""