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Joke of the Day

"my dad didn't let me date untill i was pregnant..."

"We have a 9th planet and it's chill Netlixand chill... sorry idk"

"Six U.S congress men die and go to heaven."

"""He looks just like his grandfather"" is a cute thing said about a new baby in most parts of the world. In Alabama,it's more of an accusation"

"I overheard my wife singing in the shower. ""You should go on America's Got Talent,"" I told her. ""I can't sing,"" she replied. I said, ""Exactly."""

"I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer I saw it through my telescope last night."

"I know how to pronounce worcestershire until I see it written."

"Couldn't afford the ""Wheres Waldo"" book for my baby niece so I just Tivo'd the winter X-games and told her to find a black man in the stands"

"Did you hear they found life on Mars? But, Curiosity killed the cat."

"I got a job on a farm.... It was circumcising donkeys, it wasn't too bad, 44 skins a day, with a chance to get ahead, and you could always count on big tips...."