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Joke of the Day
"Why did the bartender put laxatives in a patron's drink? For shits and giggles"
Next Joke
"How do you get to Carnegie Hall? take a taxi"
"I like my women like I like my wine. 5 years old and locked in a cellar. (I CAN FEEL THE RETRIBUTION ALREADY)"
"When you'd rather read a book than date a girl ... it's prose over hoes."
"Knock knock... *Who's there?* Dwain. *Dwain who?* Dwain the bathtub I'm dwowning!"
"Why don't ghosts like rainy days? Because it dampens their souls!!!!"
"Pugs. Because you can't own E.T."
"Red, White and Blue represent freedom until you see them flashing behind your car."
"What do you call a sex toy bought at IKEA? A ""One Night Stand"""
"I was two girls away from a threesome last night!!!"