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Joke of the Day
"What type of blood does a keyboard have? Typo"
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"I'm on holiday visiting the math dept. at Univ. of Manchester, England. I guess I'm an Alan Turist."
"The flight attendant keeps saying ""Please stop asking for peanuts. Busses don't have flight attendants."""
"Do NOT lower your standards to ""keep"" anyone. Make them meet you at YOUR level. Self respect is power."
"If you're still writing checks, remember it's 2016 and you should probably find a better way to pay for your groceries."
"Hank Hill works at an S&M sex shop And he sells pro-pain accessories."
"A beggar once asked me, ""Any change?"" I said, ""Nope. You're still broke."""
"If I ever get a Roomba, I'm gonna be totally irresponsible and just throw crumbs on the floor for fun."
"What did the terrorist say as he walked into a classroom with a clock strapped to his chest? Allahu Clockbar!"
"""We do not negotiate with Pterodactyls.""- President Barack Obamasaurus"