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Joke of the Day

"""See, son, when an Ice Ice Man and an Ice Ice Woman love each other very much..."" - Vanilla Ice explaining where Ice Ice Babies come from"

"I aspire to write jokes for laffy taffy. Q: What do you call a gullible vampire? A: A sucker"

"Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains! Well that's more of a mental health issue, I'm not really qualified to help you."

"Nickelback walks into a bar...there's no punch line because ruining music isn't funny."

"My favourite sexual move is the JFK I splatter all over her face while she screams and tries to get out of the car"

"My math teacher thinks he is the mathsia... and that he has come to save us from our sines."

"What has no legs, nor arms, but sucks a mean dick? A vacuum cleaner."

"Daughter steals my iPad so I left Google open on ""too many kids"" & ""making it look accidental."" Found my iPad but haven't seen her all day."

"Congratulations on being the kind of person who corrects the grammar of others, unsolicited. You're the Microsoft Word Paperclip."

"That's great about your engagement, promotion and new car. I grabbed the EXACT amount of hangers I needed to put away laundry. Samsies!"