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Joke of the Day
"Stealing being illegal is why I can't have nice things."
Next Joke
"A husband says to his wife ""I bet you can't tell me something that will make men both happy and sad."" She says, ""You have the biggest penis out of all of your friends."""
"Why don't plumbers ride bikes? Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack"
"Why didn't the dog want to play football ? It was a boxer !"
"I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies."
"Hippies. Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'."
"You know who are great at shadow puppets? Deaf people."
"What's the difference between my wife and the dress? The dress is white and gold"
"What's the longest Island in New York? Long Island."
"What do you get when you mix an Obama campaign slogan with Fifty Shades of Grey? Rope and chains."