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Joke of the Day
"Stealing being illegal is why I can't have nice things."
Next Joke
"When people argue about sports and one says ""Care to make it interesting"" I assume they're going to start talking about something else."
"My wife sent me out looking for a hard to find French cheese... It's called camofromage. Sorry this joke is so cheesy, but my kid thought it was Gouda."
"Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time."
"An auk breathes from his ass One day he sits down and dies."
"Old Italian guy is on his front stoop cooking a chicken on a rotisserie when a hippy walks by. Hippy looks up and says, ""Hey man. The music stopped and your monkey's on fire"""
"What do you get when you remove the center board from a wood bridge? A paradox."
"I bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.."
"A dead-beat Dad is on AskReddit... He opens a thread asking ""Will my father ever love me?"" He hides the child comments."
"They say video games teach kids bad habits, but I've gotten out of at least 17 DUI's by flinging a banana peel at the cop car behind me."