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Joke of the Day

"Hippies. Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'."

"Two astronauts in the ISS... One says to the other, ""What's up?"" The other replies, ""Yeah, what?"" I'm pretty sure this is OC, I haven't see it else where."

"[someone reading a beautiful poem in german] ME: i have never been more frightened"

"How do you know if a Chinese man has robbed your house? Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later, he's still trying to back out of your driveway."

"Virgins in Paradise? Suck my balls, Al Qaeda; I got a jacuzzi full of sluts right here in Southern California."

"Hickory dickory dock Three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one And the other two got away with minor injuries."

"What do you call a clock you wear on your belt? A waist of time"

"Warning: Alcohol may make people appear more fcukable than they actually are."

"Ex-Girlfriend: I heard you & your new girlfriend are having problems... Well, you've always got my number. Me: Yes, is it still 666?"

"A jewish Santa enters an house and asks... ""OK kids, what do you want to buy ?"""