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Joke of the Day

"I heard fish is good for your brain but now I can't get the smell out of my hair"

"What's red and goes ""Oh, Oh, Oh!""? Santa walking backwards."

"Had to pause Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory to go buy a king sized Snickers. This is why i can not watch Breaking Bad."

"Is it hot in here, or is it just me? - Joan of Arc"

"How many vegetables should you pull out of the ground in one day? None"

"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years. C'mon guys, I don't have 2020 vision."

"Dear Shirtless Guy in his Profile Pic, You REALLY want to impress girls? Get a job & pose in front of your cubicle."

"I contacted and arranged for a meet with an undercover FBI agent to show my skills in deduction and reasoning.. Unfortunately,a 14 yr old girl showed up at the coffee shop"

"There were over 14,000 wars before McDonalds launched the Dollar Menu. Since launching it, there's only been 32. Those are just the facts."

"So why is it called the ""funny bone""? BECASE IT'S ATTACHED TO YOUR HUMERUS"