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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I wonder if the ghost in my house thinks he's being haunted by some angry, naked, drunk guy."

"David Hasselhoff calls his Agent and demands, ""I want everyone to call me The Hoff from now on."" His Agent says, ""Sure. No hassle."""

"My friend is so silly that he spent two weeks in a revolving door looking for the doorknob!"

"How much does a midget stripper with three kids get paid? Mini-mom wage."

"As a kid I was frightened of the dentist... Because he was a Paedophile every time I went in he'd give me a filling"

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my dad. Not screaming in terror, like his passengers."

"You always hear about alpha males and beta males, but I'd prefer to be a gamma male They have a higher rate of penetration..."

"Me and my brother buried the hatchet last night! We dumped the hooker in the lake though."

"Why do ducks have webbed feet? To put out fires. Why do elephants have large, flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks."

"What do you call an instrument that gets a president impeached? Harmonica Lewinsky."