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Joke of the Day

"What's the final product Steve Jobs released? The iDied"

"Yo mama's so old... Her age has to be expressed in scientific notation!"

"I like my women like I like my vegetables: healthy and steaming hot..No, wait. I mean unconscious and lacking any cognitive function."

"""SOMEONE IS VAPING"" 911: Stay calm, were tracing it ""HURRY"" 911: THE VAPING IS COMIN FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE ""OMG"" 911: GET OUT GET OUT"

"The wife wants me to be a doctor in our sex role playing. So I guess I'll make her wait an hour, then send her to a specialist"

"What do you call a group of confused Spanish speaking racists? The Que Que Que?"

"Why didn't the two introverts go camping? Because it's two fucking in tents."

"Moses was computer savvy.. ..He had two tablets!"

"What football position did the forever alone play? Left Out"

"Me: Would you consider going out with a guy a little older than yourself? Her: Well of course I would. Why, do you have a son?"