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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my vegetables: healthy and steaming hot..No, wait. I mean unconscious and lacking any cognitive function."

"I went to the doctor's office for an Alzheimer's test... I can't remember the results."

"How many terrorist does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just hold a knife to its throat and threaten to execute it if it doesn't change itself"

"Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court"

"If you can't enjoy sex when I sing Ladysmith Black Mambazo, we either need to hire 9 black men or have the racism talk."

"Did you hear the one about Laurence the Roman Pot Smoker? It was High Larrius"

"Yo momma is so fat and old... When she farted it created the universe"

"What did the drug dealer say when he saw the clock. Its 4:20 dude!!! 420 blaze it"

"Your loud tweeting woke me up. Someone must have typed in all caps."

"How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with."