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Joke of the Day

"It's surprising how little people change Actually the process isn't that different, other than the tiny clothes"

"The doctor said to the patient We had to remove a part of your anus Patient- will I be any different? Doctor-Just less of an asshole Edit 1- Changed rectum to anus, credit u/RigorMortis76"

"You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron."

"*driving my date to the ER* I told you my possum doesn't like direct eye contact. This one is on you."

"What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he were white? Alive"

"Edward Snowden was discovered trapped inside of one of his ski lodges this Saturday, November 19th. ""Edward Snowden Snowed in Snowden Snow Den."""

"How'd you sleep last night? Like God during the holocaust."

"When do Catholics allow the use of condoms? When the choir boys have diarrhea."

"How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: ""I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"" Trainer replies: ""Use the ATM"""

"Had to quit my job as an underwear model because the photographer kept telling me, ""I'm just a cashier"" and that I ""need to leave Macy's."""