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Joke of the Day

"Why did Johnny drop his ice cream? No you sadistic fucks, he did not get railed by a truck. He just tripped and fell :)"

"Where can I donate to the American Red Cross? I would like to help with house #7."

"Feline-loving fashionista's favorite music? Techno. *boots-n-cats-n-boots-n-cats-n-boots-n-cats*"

"How do feminists get away with murder? They won't let anyone finger them."

"I wish my grass was emo..... So it would cut itself"

"Why are jews afraid to eat pussy? because its too close to the gas chamber"

"I love to hold my wife's hand when we are out. If I let go, she shops."

"i started carrying a knife on me after an attempted mugging three years ago. since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful."

"pH number. So a random person I don't know sends me a message on Facebook which goes like, ""cn i hve ur pH no? :)"" To which I reply, ""7."""

"If booze isn't the answer, then your question sucks."