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Joke of the Day

"My ex... My ex was like a rock pool. Shallow, but interesting. And upon closer inspection I found crabs."

"OUESTION: What is cosmetics? ANSWER: Cosmetics is a woman's means for keeping a man from reading between the lines."

"What do you use to compare and contrast nordic cultures? A Sven diagram!"

"Yes, I'm a professor. I teach intercourse 101 and my wife is the only student. She's getting a D"

"I'd make a political joke... But it's too soon, the DNC tried to force one on all of us and we saw how that went."

"so m'lady walks into a bar ouch."

"Knock Knock: Nutella Knock Knock Who's there? Nutella Nutella who? I'm Nutella-ing you."

"Maybe artists wouldn't be so starving all the time if they'd just eat all that fruit they're always painting."

"What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of ""Back to the Future""? They Hire 'Em A Biff!"

"Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie? To-mate-toes!"