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Joke of the Day

"They asked if I wear boxers or briefs.... Depends"

"Tried to pull up my sleeve and accidentally punched myself. It's okay, I've had it coming for some time now."

"I've been told I'm not ambitious enough. If only there was an olympic sport for being a lazy bastard. That bronze medal would be mine."

"2 peanuts walk into a bar One was a salted"

"Did you know Danny Welbeck's dad was a bomb disposal expert. His name was Stan Welbeck."

"My ceramics teacher was excellent. Day after day, she was always kiln it."

"Why do women prefer a 77 instead of a 69? (Slightly NSFW) Because they get 8 more."

"My cat freaked out when I told him he was adopted. Granted, I spelled it out on the floor with a laser pointer."

"What's the temperate inside of a ton-ton? What's the temperature inside of a ton-ton? Lukewarm."

"Cream? Sugar? Fuck you, I want 2 cubes of chicken bullion in my coffee. I've got man's work to do."