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Joke of the Day

"On my deathbed, I hope to be surrounded by family and friends while I take a few last second glances at Twitter on my iPhone."

"What do you call it when a banana eats another banana? Canabananalism"

"I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it."

"What do you call a guy who's into beastiality? Someone who really gets his head into the game."

"Not sure why, but even when I shower alone, I still get a little nervous when I drop the soap."

"[Asking someone out] Um...so do you want to come to my exorcism next week?"

"What word isn't in the Bat-dictionary? Killing, unless your talking about his parents"

"My roommate claims I'm schizophrenic. Jokes on him. I don't have a roommate."

"A long time ago, I learned the importance of just being myself. I think the world would be a better place if everyone would just be myself."

"This joke might take you awhile Pussy! ::snickering:: get it?"