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Joke of the Day

"[eharmony] based on your responses, your perfect match is a trashcan.. [me] aww [eharmony] ..full of raccoons [me] omg I love raccoons"

"Audible be sponsoring so many YouTube channels you could go to ""Audible.com/ "" and type in any word you want and it would give you a free book"

"What did they say to the doctor that wanted to sew his own stitches? ""Suture self!"""

"So a guy walks INTO a bar So a guy walks into a bar and says "" ow."""

"After spending over 3 decades in the hard candy business, I've had enough... I've finally realized it's for suckers."

"Why did the USAS with frag rounds fall over? Because it was... imbalanced."

"FACT: if a cop says FREEZE and then you say ""now everybody clap yo hands"" he has to drop his gun and clap and then you can get away."

"I opened a sperm bank in London recently... We had a disastrous first day. Only two clients. One came on the bus; the other one missed the tube."

"I think it is wrong that the Bali 9 get a one minute silence I mean, they already got a 21 gun salute."

"How do Mongolians practice safe sex? They use a khandom."