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Joke of the Day

"A lame joke I thought of at work yesterday ""A tie for a tie leaves the whole world looking great"""

"My small child told me his opinion on politics and I disowned him for being a nerd"

"Why did Baby Moses believe he was Egyptian? Because he was in da Nile."

"Some joke my dad told me a long time ago What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to? Barbers."

"The doctor tells his patient, ""Well, I can't find anything wrong with you. I suspect the problem is heavy drinking."" The patient asks, ""Should I come back when you've sobered up?"

"Is it too much to ask that my gay friends flamboyantly leap from closets when I visit their houses?"

"Never propose to a girl who is a professional fighter. If the engagement is canceled, she isn't leaving the ring."

"What is worse than biting through an apple, and finding a worm inside? ~~Rape~~ The picky fuckers on this website."

"132 LEGS AND 8 TEETH Q: What has 132 legs and 8 teeth? A: The front row of a Garth Brooks concert!"

"My mother-in-law got into a car accident and broke both her legs and arms even god knows what a snake she is"